Four years of caring for two parents

My father was diagnosed first. Eighteen months later, my mother.

I kept working because we needed the income and because work was the only place I felt competent. I also nearly lost the job twice because I could not say the word "caregiving" out loud in a performance review.

Three things I would do earlier: tell my manager the truth in month one, not month fourteen. Put every medical detail in one shared document my brother could see. Book respite before I needed it, not after I broke.

The grief started years before either funeral. That is normal, and I wish someone had told me.